Tips for Managing Your Mental Health During the Holidays

The holidays can be a time for joy and connecting with friends and loved ones, but they can also bring stress and sadness. Angela Drake is a clinical neuropsychologist at the University of California Davis Health. She has practical advice for navigating the season’s emotional challenges and specific tips for taking care of your mental health.

1. Manage holiday expectations

The most common advice Drake gives her patients is to figure out how to manage their expectations. “Often what we are experiencing is a disconnect between our actual situation and what we think it should be,” Drake said. During the holidays, this can be particularly acute. If someone grew up with a big family, they might feel a sense of loss with a small gathering. “They are mentally comparing the two without even knowing it,” Drake said. She suggests focusing on what you are grateful for in the present.

2. Let go of the fantasy

She also encourages people to manage their expectations of other people. “We can all have the fantasy that everyone is going to have a wonderful time, but the reality is that there are often tensions in families,” Drake said. “It likely won’t be a fantasy version of the holidays.” She says you can set your expectations by recognizing certain family members may always be difficult. “You can’t control other people, but you can adjust your expectations and reactions, which can be empowering.”

3. Check in with yourself

One way to manage your reactions is to check in with yourself regularly. “It is a way to monitor your emotional state and see how you are doing. You can think of it as a stress, anxiety or mood scale. You rank what you are feeling from one to ten,” Drake said. “And when you are at a certain level — whatever you decide — you take a break.” She suggests doing something you enjoy and find relaxing. She encourages patients to listen to music, exercise, do deep breathing (see tip #5), or do whatever activity or hobby they enjoy. The idea is to develop self-awareness so people can engage in self-care before reaching an emotional breaking (or boiling) point.

4. Have a plan

In addition to regular self-monitoring, Drake suggests having a specific plan for what you will do if you feel stressed out, sad, or anxious during the holidays. It could be calling a friend, walking, turning on music, reading, or watching your favorite TV show. The activity is as individual as you are. “All of this is moving towards wellness,” Drake said. “It's about being proactive and engaging in self-care, rather than trying to ignore or stuff down emotions, which typically only works so long.”

5. Breathe

Drake uses a technique called diaphragmatic breathing to relieve stress and anxiety. It is also known as deep breathing or belly breathing. “You can do deep breathing anywhere, and it doesn’t cost anything,” Drake said. She notes that people often “go, go go” during the holidays and will try to power through whatever they need to do. “But then it leaves them exhausted,” Drake said. “Deep breathing, holding oxygen in your lungs, allows better oxygen exchange. Your blood oxygen goes up. And as soon as that happens, you start to relax.” You can learn deep breathing from free online instructions and videos.

6. Share the happy memories

In addition to stress, the holidays can also be a time of grief as people are aware of loved ones who have passed away. “You don’t want to submerge yourself in grief, but it is not useful to just ignore it because you are still going to feel it,” Drake said. A strategy she recommends is known as reminiscence therapy. “The idea is to acknowledge loss and grief but not dwell on the sad memories. Just focus on the happy memories,” Drake said. “I encourage people to celebrate that person. Talk about them, reminisce, tell stories.”

7. Connect with community

“Loneliness has negative health effects. The holidays can amplify loneliness, especially when people no longer have family or live far away from their families or friends,” Drake said. For people who do not have a network of friends or a support group, her advice is to get out there and find one. She notes that people find community through many avenues, including churches, clubs, meetups, volunteering, cultural centers, LGBTQ centers, and many others. “Finding community is hard these days, but it is so important. You talk to people, interact, and get to feel good about what you are doing. And it is good for you,” Drake said.

Help is available by dialing or texting 988

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, help can be reached 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by dialing or texting 988 from a smartphone. You can learn more about the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on their website.

By Lisa Howard for Mental Health 12.19.22

Five Ways to Take Care of Your Mental Health This Holiday Season

By Mental Health First Aid USA on November 29, 2021

We all feel stressed from time to time during the holiday season – there is pressure to attend social events, give gifts, travel and more that can take a toll on one’s mental health. In fact, a poll conducted by the American Psychological Association found that nearly a quarter of Americans report feeling extreme stress during this time of year and 45% of Americans would prefer to skip the holidays entirely to avoid the associated stress.

Another study, this one from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), found almost two-thirds (64%) of people with mental illness report the holidays make their conditions worse. Stress or anxiety associated with holiday activities can contribute to worsening symptoms.

This year may feel especially challenging, thanks to the carry-over from the COVID-19 pandemic. The loss of loved ones, financial stress from lost jobs, and feelings of anxiety because of the uncertainties associated with the pandemic – are all impacting the way people feel.

If you feel anxious about finding a new “normal” this holiday season, that’s OK. It’s important that you adjust at your own pace and take care of your mental well-being along the way. Here are a few tips from Mental Health First Aid to help you take care of your mental health this holiday season.

1. Focus on what you can control. The pandemic has changed a lot around us, and it’s OK if you feel anxious as a result. Control what you can to take care of your physical and mental health. If you are nervous about travel requirements, research them in advance so you feel more prepared. If you’re feeling stressed by the media, take a digital break for a few days.

2. Keep healthy habits. It’s important to keep healthy habits in place no matter your holiday plans. This may include going on a daily walk, getting a good night’s rest or staying hydrated. Taking care of your physical health can help stabilize your mood, reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, and improve long-term mental well-being.

3. Make time for yourself. Spending time with family or friends, especially if you have not seen them in the last few years, can be overwhelming. If you need a moment to yourself, try sneaking away to a quiet room or going for an early morning walk.

4. Create new traditions. It may feel challenging to revert to holiday traditions from 2019, and that’s OK. Create new traditions that work for you and prioritize your mental well-being.

5. Ask for help if you need it. If you are feeling especially sad, stressed, anxious or depressed, ask for help. Talk to someone you trust, a mental health professional or a primary care physician for guidance and support.

 Whether you feel excited, nervous, anxious or stressed (or all of these!) about the coming holiday season, you are not alone. By taking small actions each day, you can #BeTheDifference for yourself and make your mental well-being a priority.

For more tips around managing your mental health during the holidays, check out these blogs from Mental Health First Aid:

1. Staying Grateful in Difficult Times – Mental Health First Aid

2. Mental Health During the Holidays: Five Tips to Ease the Struggle – Mental Health First Aid

3. How to Support Your Loved One With a Mental Illness During the Holidays – Mental Health First Aid

4. Four Tips to Manage Social Anxiety this Holiday Season – Mental Health First Aid

5. How to Cope with Physical Distancing During the Holidays – Mental Health First Aid

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