Stop The Negative Self-Talk

For the majority of my corporate career, I was in Learning and Development for Fortune 500 corporations. I had one job, however, in a totally different sphere when I became a Division Sales Manager, leading 20 direct reporting district managers, 143 Group Sales Leaders and 4,000 sales representatives in a multi-million dollar market. My division was one in 28 in that particular region and one in 150 nationally.

There were campaigns where my division led the region in sales, number of orders or other metric areas and other times when we really bombed and did poorly.  My regional director told me once "when things don't hit the mark and things go south, I know I don't need to say anything to you because you beat yourself up with a baseball bat!"  He was so right......I was my own harshest critic much of the time and especially when sales were down in my division.  It wasn't until much later, after I'd been laid off from a different job, that I learned the importance of awareness of 'self-talk'.  

In a February 2019 Forbes article, Frances Bridges gives us some pointers on How To Stop Negative Self-Talk and lets us know there are several ways to halt negative thoughts and self-talk:                   

Breathe 

Some big reasons people beat themselves up and feel badly about themselves are because they are overwhelmed, they have recently failed or they are paralyzed by fear. It's important in these moments to pause and take a deep breath. It will help slow your increasing heart rate by calming you down and giving you some clarity. If you start thinking negative thoughts, and you are feeling overwhelmed and upset pause and breathe.

Acknowledge It   

When you know you're starting to spiral and succumb to your negative thoughts, acknowledge them. You're not going to stop negative thoughts by ignoring them. You have to acknowledge them before you can confront them. It's not easy to admit you have doubts, that you are afraid or have reasons to be concerned, but you will never put them to rest in a meaningful way until you acknowledge them.

Consider The Cause 

What are the roots of these thoughts? Are you afraid? Are you experiencing self-doubt? Have you had a big failure recently that has bruised your self-confidence? Are you depressed? Why are these thoughts creeping in and why are they stopping you? Take some time to consider where these thoughts come from and confront them. If you're afraid, assuage your fears. Chances are, they are only in your head. If you're experiencing self-doubt, tell yourself everyone fails and the only way to prove to yourself that you can do this is to start working. Consider the roots of these thoughts so you can address them and work toward silencing them.

Stop Expecting Perfection  

Don't expect perfection when you are just beginning. If you are starting over after a major failure, or you are suffering from self-doubt, try telling yourself it's OK to fail. Don't expect perfection when no one is perfect. Flaws and failure are part of life, and once you embrace them, and move forward in spite of them, you will become happier and more self-confident. If you make mistakes, it's OK, get back in the saddle and keep going!

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