The idea of going home for the holidays will elicit either genuine cheer, slow-growing dread, or any of the myriad emotions in between. Maybe this is how it’s always been with your family this time of year, or maybe there’s a fresh wound you’re not sure how to heal. Or as one goop staffer puts it, maybe your family makes King Lear look like Three’s Company.

Not everyone is spiritually or emotionally healthy enough to have a front-row seat in our lives. There are some people in our lives who are best loved from a distance. It's amazing what we can accomplish when we let go, or at least minimize time with draining, negative, incompatible, pointless relationships, friendships, and fellowships! 

We’ve all met people who focus on the “what” they’re doing instead of the “why” they’re doing it. It’s difficult to feel passionate about something when we’re missing the meaning behind what we’re doing and why we’re here.

Somewhere around September when the weather changes, the kids go back to school and the leaves begin to wither, it starts. By Halloween, it's gathering momentum and by Thanksgiving, it has us in a full-body press. "It" is The Holidays, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply "the season," what everybody has in common during the last quarter of the year is stress with a capital S. 

“When unfavorable situations, actions and emotional conflicts happen again and again in your life—same scene, different characters—there’s a good chance you are in the presence of a negative “pattern.”

“Good fences make good neighbors.” So goes the old proverb from the well-loved Robert Frost poem. Likewise, good personal boundaries make for good relationships.

Boundaries are those invisible lines around yourself that let people know the limits of what they can say or do around you. Make your boundaries too solid and you build walls, too weak and you allow others’ actions to harm you.

Difficult conversations need a double objective: fix the issue and maintain the relationship. Most people, and many leaders, dread difficult conversations because they’re uncomfortable and unpredictable in the moment. Even worse is what can happen after the conversation. Will it irreversibly damage the relationship with a good friend, or a good employee? Or will it destroy a solid connection with a friend or colleague? Or could a tough talk with the boss hurt your career?

Grace is not just about doing good work, but also about recognizing the inherent goodness in every human being. It’s about recognizing that despite the outer trappings—the income level, social standings, education—we all want the same essential things: our basic survival needs met, dignity, a good life for our children and meaningful connection with other humans. 

Are you a parrot when it comes to fighting? As in, do you brazenly charge in with accusations, a smattering of profanity and hope to crudely beat your point across? The brutal truth is that this will get you nowhere with your significant other.

Everyone knows that friends make life better, but there is a growing body of evidence that shows people who have good friendships and strong social circles live longer—as well as happier—lives.

Few people arrive at adulthood without regrets. Know they can keep you stuck, rob you of joy, and negatively affect your relationships moving forward.

Do you and your partner avoid certain topics because the conversation will become heated? Maybe you dread discussing parenting techniques or how much services for your child cost. These tips can help ease tough talks.

The fallout from conversations gone wrong is not pretty: trust and intimacy suffer, while resentment and misunderstanding build. But it is possible to improve the way we handle our most difficult personal conversations. Our relationships need to nourish us, not deplete us.

Taking time off can provide more energy, add a new perspective to old situations and increase effectiveness. Take some time for yourself!

Change the way you argue ... forever! 

Are you a pirate when it comes to fighting? As in, do you brazenly charge in with accusations, a smattering of profanity and hope to crudely beat your point across? The brutal truth is that this will get you nowhere with your significant other.

Joelle and Sydney are sitting at a coffee shop. Joelle has just gone through a divorce and is telling her friend all about it. To a casual observer, it looks as if Sydney is listening. But take a look at the thoughts running through Sydney’s head: Really, people get divorced all the time; it’s time to move on. It would help her if she got a job and lost some weight; that’s what I’d do. I hope this never happens to me.

Sydney thinks she’s a good listener. After all, she’s not interrupting or fidgeting, is she? But what Sydney is actually doing is hearing her friend. Like so many of us, she’s just not listening.

Have you ever noticed how GOOD it feels to be listened to, to be HEARD? It’s a powerful feeling, particularly when the listening goes beyond just the words you’re speaking. That kind of artful listening conveys respect and value to the speaker, and promotes positive relationships of all kinds.

Values convey what is important to people in their lives.

To live in line with personal values is a process of prioritizing. An individual must decide whether certain actions and experiences add something significant to their existence or not. The expression of values may be important but is not always self-evident. Many people fail to make choices that align with their values. Living in line with personal values requires the ability to filter what is personally important and to say 'no' to activities that resonate insufficiently with personal values.

For the majority of my corporate career, I was in Learning and Development for Fortune 500 corporations. I had one job, however, in a totally different sphere when I became a Division Sales Manager, leading 20 direct reporting district managers, 143 Group Sales Leaders and 4,000 sales representatives in a multi-million dollar market. My division was one in 28 in that particular region and one in 150 nationally.